Trying to Save the Earth
by JesusisAlive2033
Summary: Sometimes, saving a planet that you haven't been on for a few years is difficult. This especially applies to teenagers. So what happens when you throw a couple of them with some space pirates, mix in a few villains, and hope for the best? Oh yeah, this is going to get interesting.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own any Marvel characters. Enjoy.

"Move, move, move, MOVE!"

Tony circled a corner, and Peter was not far behind. Two large thugs, probably Kree, were right behind the boys as they ran from the bar they had just destroyed.

"It will be fun, he said. Nothing bad will happen, he said." Tony mocked. Peter, who had caught up, scowled.

"I didn't think he would take offense when I said his skin was a very nice shade of blue. Kree, these days. So touchy."

"That's why you don't talk to people in a bar, idiot!"

"I know that now, thank you. I have completely learned my lesson, and will be saint from now on."

"Uh huh, and I'm gonna turn myself in to the Nova Corp."

"Tony, so help me-"

"No time. We're here. Get this thing in the sky."

Peter huffed, and jumped in the **Milano**. Tony strapped in, and he started pressing buttons. The Kree caught up with them, and just as the engines hummed, the blue skinned aliens took out guns.

"Quill, if you don't get this thing in the air, and I have to go to prison or fix the engines with parts that may or may not be earned legitimately, then I'm gonna be soooo-"

Quill hit the accelerator, and the ship started to fly. That's when he put on his "I told you we'd live" face, and the **Milano **started for Ravager headquarters.

"Your welcome."

"Shut up, Peter. Yondu's gonna be so mad when he finds out that you forgot to grab that chip thing."

"...Crap."

It was silent for a moment, then Tony smirked. He pulled out a little green microchip thing. Quill let out a breath, and Tony laughed. "You soooo owe me."

"Come on, Tony! I just saved your life!"

"From a situation you caused!"

"We wouldn't have even been there if you hadn't accepted this mission in the first place!"

"Your the one that was bored!"

As the two argued, a Nova Corp ship noticed the small Ravager Craft, and unbeknownst to the boys, coming up on them fast. Sooner than later, the soldier called up some back up, and there they were, two Nova Corp ships watching two teenage boys inside a Ravager ship, arguing.

"You are under arrest by Nova Corp authority."

That's when Peter and Tony took notice of the two crafts, and the boys held up their hands. That's when Tony spoke.

"For the record, I blame you for this."

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The boys stood in front of Nova Corp enforcers as they were getting checked in. The two men started to look at their criminal records.

"Alright," one of the guards said, half of him interested at what two boys could do to get themselves into the Kyln, and the other half not caring. "This one is Starlord, or Peter Quill. He's fifteen, and has done some pretty hefty damage. Destroyed two bars, seventeen small shops, and has charges of petty theft."

He then turned to the guards, and flipped them off in an amusing way. The guards sighed, and then Peter looked down. Gasping sarcastically, he then looked to the officers. "I am so sorry. I just didn't know how this machine worked."

The guard sighed. "Next is Tony Stark. They call this kid Iron Man."

"Actually, my stuff's made out of Carbon-Titanium alloy, but I think if you ask nicely, I might just forgive you for that little mistake you just made."

The guard rolled his eyes, and went on. "Apparently, while the kid still has a mouth on him, he's pretty good at supercharging Ravager getaway vehicles, and has several charges of hacking and digital theft."

The other Nova enforcer just glared at the boys, and sniffed. "What a pair of A-Holes."

"I think we prefer the term "opportunistic"."

"Just get them disinfected."

A few minutes later, the boys were stripped of their weapons and irritated.

Peter was probably the most angry, and made no attempt at hiding it. "He freakin took my Walkman, that jerk. Oh he soooo going to pay for that later."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, because he is totally begging for our mercy."

"Stop being a smart-Aleck, Tony."

Tony grunted. "Well I would appreciate it if you wouldn't mind helping me think of a way to get out of here. Then we could come up with all sorts of fun ways to get back at the guy for taking your Walkman."

Peter sighed. "Fine, fine. I think I know a guy who can get us out of here."

At that, Tony looked at him suspiciously. "I certainly hope that your not talking about _him_, are you?"

"Come on! Are you kidding? You want us to go to him for help? He's a freaking-"

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"Racoon. Rocket Racoon. At your service. What the heck do you guys need?"

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose as he stood before the Flora Colossus and the mutant racoon thing. He knew this was not going to end well. This was just one of those things that he had that bad feeling about.

It was the same feeling he had before he went into that bar yesterday.

"We need to get out of here. We have some pretty valuable junk in my ship, and it needs to get to our boss pronto. We have 30,000 units for you if you can. What do ya say?"

The racoon smirked, and then looked at the kids. "Well, that's a pretty small amout of units for a prison break...but I was going to need help getting out any how, and I've decided that you don't annoy me much. Fine. I'll take your offer. Give me until tomorrow, and I'll have something figured out. Deal?"

"Deal. Thanks, Rocket."

The two boys left, and Peter smiled. "See, I knew that I could get us outta here!"

Tony grumbled. "Yeah, and in the process we have to help a racoon and a giant tree get out of a heavily guarded prison while we blow 30,000 units. Oh yeah, great plan."

Peter hit Tony's shoulder, and smirked. "Ahh, don't be such a downer. We're breaking out of prison! That'll look good on our reps."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure Yondu will be sooo proud."

The two boys went to grab some grub, and sat down at one of the numerous dirty tables. They at what looked like a green glob with a couple of chunks of...well, something in it. However, with their salaries, they had to take whatever food they could get their hands on, even if it looked like it might eat them first.

"Ya know," Peter said as he shoved some more green slime into his mouth. "I'd say we've been in worse positions."

"Oh yeah? What?"

"Well, there was that time on Xandar with that one dude? What was it? Oh yeah, Drax."

Tony shuddered, remembering the large teenager that had almost thrown him six feet under concrete, and that had threatened to tear out his spine for stealing some donuts.

"I guess we have, Peter."

"Well, well, well, look at what we have here, Logan."

Tony knew that voice, and it was probably the last thing he wanted to hear. It seemed as if this day was starting to overturn the whole "not as bad as Drax" thing.

"Iron Man in the slammer, never thought I'd see. And would you look there. It's Starlord! I guess it's just our lucky day!" 

"Clint, and Logan," Peter said nervously. "How...nice to see you guys again."

Logan grabbed Tony, and smirked. Tony cringed at the teen's grip, and looked at him sheepishly. Logan smiled, showing his prominent canines. "Ya know, Tony, you and your little friend here still owe us a little something. What was it? Oh, yeah. A freakin ship!"

"No need to get hasty, guys. We can work this out..." Peter said, looking for a way out. Clint kept him behind the table, and the archer laughed.

"Oh, yeah, cause that worked so well the last time. You don't have anything to offer, and we don't have to hold back."

Peter looked at the guards, hoping that they'd do something. However, that was apparently not as important as pressing the stupid buttons on their little arm thingies. Apparently, this was not his lucky day.

Tony wasn't faring much better, as in that moment he was wondering how many ways Logan would chop him up and eat him. Logan started squeezing harder, and Tony was frantic.

"This is gonna hurt, bolts." He grinned. "This is gonna hurt a lot."

Meanwhile, Clint has been hiding behind a large iron pole as Clint started throwing freakin condiments at him. So far, he's hit Peter three times, all in the eye.

"Ow! Dang it, Tony! Do something!"

Tony couldn't reply because he was pretty sure that Logan had broken his lungs by now. He tried to speak, but Logan was having too much fun.

"What's that, pipsqueak? I can't hear you."

"We...Get...You...Out..."

Logan got the gist. He stopped squeezing him, and allowed Tony to drop to the floor, gasping. That's when he took out his claws, and held them to Tony's throat.

"What did you say?"

Tony took a few deep breaths, and sighed. "We can get you out. You don't kill us, we get you out of here, and dump you on whatever planet you want. Deal?"

The mutant seemed to think, and he turned to Clint. That's when he slid his claws back in, and helped Tony up. Clint stopped throwing things, and Peter came out from behind the table he had made his way to.

Logan smirked. "I always knew I liked you. Now, how are we doing this thing?"

"Tomorrow at that table. Meet us there, got it?"

Logan nodded, and Clint soon followed his leave. That's when Peter came over, and hit Tony's shoulder.

"Ow!"

"Great, just great." Peter growled. "Now, we're stuck not only with the racoon and the Giving Tree, but the Wolverine and the Condiment Thrower of Doom. What were you thinking?"

"Gee, I dunno. I was just getting crushed, and I thought, "Hey, you know what might be a good idea? Not dying! Maybe I should try to do something about that!" The idea just kinda bloomed from there on."

Peter dropped into a seat, whipped his head back, and moaned. "Wonderful. Great. This is gonna be the best breakout ever."

"...Well, in all honesty, we wouldn't be here if-"

"Oh, we are not starting that again!"


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Marvel. Enjoy.

Surprisingly, they all never got together.

What they did end up doing, is getting kidnapped from prison.

"Dang it, Clint, let go of me!"

Tony woke up rubbing his eyes, ready to be stuck in that cell were it seemed that every other prisoner decided to sleep last night. He was kinda surprised when it turned out he was in a holding cell.

...And Logan, Peter, and Clint were in there.

Peter started to stretch his arms and he yawned. "Man, I haven't slept like that for a while. This floor is surprisingly comfy and...Oh you have gotta be kidding me! Where are we now?!"

Logan growled. "How is it our luck that we get stuck not only with you two, but on some random ship that we don't know where it's going?"

Peter scratched the back of his head and laughed nervously. "Guess we're just that lucky."

That's when Clint grabbed Tony's shirt, and pushed him against the wall. "Liste, boy genius, your going to get us outta here. Now."

"Well, gee, Legolas, I'd love happen to forget one little detail. I have no FREAKIN IDEA WHERE WE ARE AT."

"You think I care, Tinhead? Just find a way to get us out!"

Peter grabbed Clint and threw him to the other side of the cell. That's when Logan got involved, and there was an all out brawl. Clint was pulling Tony's hair, Tony was kicking Logan, Logan was trying to turn Peter into a shishkabob, and Peter was chocking Clint.

It lasted for a whole three minutes.

"Prisoners of Cell 492, cease such actions immediately."

The boys suddenly looked to the cell door to see a woman. She had black, short hair, and she seemed a little angry. They let go of eachother, and that's when Logan walked up to the door, claws extended.

"I'm gonna ask nicely one time. Let us out of this cell before I rip out your intestines and knit them into a sweater."

The woman snorted, and then glared at the teens. "Your threats are uneeded. Director Fury has requested your presence."

Peter looked at the chick, and then back to the boys. "Uhh, can you give us a second please? We need to...ahh... Discuss something."

That's when they huddled up. After a few quick whispers and glares and "Not on your life" They came out of the huddle, and Tony walked up to her.

"We are ready to see your boss."

"Very well. Follow me."

They all got out, and followed the black clad woman. Logan and Clint took up the back, and Tony was with Peter up front. Once the woman and the two boys in the back were out of earshot, the pair started whispering.

"Does Fury ring any bells for you?"

"Yeah. I feel like I've heard that before. I just can't place it."

"This entire thing just feels fishy. I mean, what are the chances that the moment we get into prison, someone just happens to need us enough to break us out? I think they've been trailing us."

Peter seemed to think about this for a moment, and then sighed. "We must have the worst luck this side of the universe."

Tony nodded. "Yeah. We do."

They were silent the rest of the way, walking in time with the woman and their two comrades. They soon made their way to the bridge, and they were met with a back of a chair, which Tony cerimoniously stated was the usual position of the evil guy in most films.

That's when the woman glared at him, and told him to politely shut up or face the consequences.

That's when whoever was behind the chair decided to speak.

"Thank you, Agent Hill. You may leave."

The Agent nodded, and stepped out of the room. She closed the door behind her, which was probably a good move considering the chances that one hacker, a thief, a mercenary, and an illegal trader would all run given the opportunity.

"Boys, I have read your track records, and I must say you have all done more damage individually than most adults in your particular...careers of choice."

They all looked a little sheepish, except for Logan, of course.

"I thought to myself, "These kids could be quite a bit of trouble. More trouble than their worth."

That frightened them. They all started to get a little tense. This guy might be one of those purification psychos. If that was the case, then they were getting out of their ASAP. The last thing any of them wanted to be was Kentucky Fried Convicts.

"...And that's when I realized that you might just be worth what I'm about to offer."

They all internally groaned. This guy dragged them all out of prison just to contract them for some possibly life threatening job. Great.

"You see, I know for a fact that all of you have been to the planet Earth, and that you know its basic layout."

Oh no. Heck no.

"I need you all to do some delicate work for me. Of course, I'd pay you for it. Four billion units, to be exact. However, I need to know if your willing to do what I'm asking. This is a now or never thing. If you say yes, I'll brief you on the details. If you say no, then I'll send you on your way. The **Milano **and a small ship called the **Blackbird **are in the cargo bay with all your belongings if you decide to refuse."

Tony thought about it for a bit, and then looked at the chair. "Would you give us a second, please?"

The man grunted, and Tony took it for a yes. He took the others into a huddle.

"Listen, I'm gonna be frank with you. I don't trust him."

Clint looked at him in amazement. "Four billion units, Tony. Four BILLION. I could care less about whether you trust him or not. The money here is what matters. We could be rich!"

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to agree with bolts on this one, Clint." Logan scowled at the chair. "There's something about this situation I don't like."

Peter interjected. "I dunno, guys. That is a lot of money."

"Peter, there is something about this that is setting off my "Don't touch with a ten foot pole" sense. I'm thinkin this should be a no go. I mean, it must be pretty life threatening if it's worth four billion units."

Clint scoffed. "Listen. All we have to do is one mission. One. Then we're home free and rich. No harm, no foul, right? It can't possibly be that bad if he wants a bunch of kids to do it."

They were silent for a while.

"...That is a lot of money."

"...We could get a new ship."

"...Yondu might not maime us."

"...Ok, I'm in."

That's when they turned around, and Tony spoke. "We'll take your mission, but know this. If you attempt to double cross us, destroy us, or not pay us, then your gonna wish you hadn't. Deal?"

"Very well. Now..."

The chair turned, and a large man with one eyepatch started to look at the boys. That's when Tony scowled, and Logan not far after. 

"S.H.I.E.L.D.!" Tony growled.

"I knew this was some type of trap!" Logan snarled.

Peter and Clint looked at eachother, and shrugged.

"Do you know him?"

"Nu-uh. You?"

"I think Tony mentioned him once. I think his last names Furry or something."

"Furry? Really? He doesn't look like anything remotely furry. He seems more like a scruffy kinda guy."

"Gentlemen," The large man grunted. "My name is Nick Fury, and I am from S.H.I.E.L.D., and I can assure you that we mean you no harm. We simply have a job for you."

"Oh, great," Tony said sarcastically. "What is it? Gonna go expirament on little boys for your boss, or maybe hunt down some aliens to poke at?" 

"Hmmph, I wouldn't put it past him to have us go lookin for mutants," Logan spit.

Fury slammed his hands onto his desk. "Listen, we aren't having you hunt or maim anything. In fact, we're having you break some those life forms out of prisons. Now if you would listen, I will tell you what your doing, and I can guarantee we aren't any part of S.H.I.E.L.D. that either of you are familiar with. Are we clear?"

All of them stopped talking, though Logan and Tony kept throwing Fury disapproving looks. The man sighed, and then sat down again.

"Now, here are some files about your mission."

He started explaining the mission. All of them were attentive during his debriefing, but somewhere in the middle of it, Peter leaned over to Clint.

"...I think Furry would've been better."

"...Yeah. more ironic that way.


End file.
